“Wherever the service of
listening, active helpfulness, and bearing with others is being faithfully
performed, the ultimate and highest ministry can also be offered, the service
of the Word of God.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life
Together, Fortress Press, 2015 (Reader’s Edition), page 80.
Bonhoeffer now explores what
it means for brothers and sisters to speak the Word of God to one another, not
as a pastor from the pulpit, but as Christians living life together. He writes of “all the comfort, the admonition, the
kindness, and the firmness of God” that might be communicated in our
relationships. He points out (page 81) that “if proper listening does not
precede it [speaking the Word], how can it really be the right word for the
other?” He points out that if we are not being helpful in service to others
then our words lack credibility.
We must listen before we
speak, we must bear with others before we speak, we ought to be aware of our
own failings before we speak – but speak we must for “… on the other hand, who
wants to accept the responsibility for having been silent when we should have
spoken?
Paul writes to the Colossians
(3:16), “Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom
teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,
singing with thankfulness in your hears to God.” The New Testament picture of life together is every member of the
body serving the entire body; this includes speaking the Word of Christ to one
another as a way of life – not as something that only occurs in structured
settings.
Bonhoeffer discusses the
tension inherent in the idea of being a people who speak the Word of God to one
another…and to others. As he has previously discussed, we are not called to
dominate others or to make others into our image of what they should be. We are
not called to stamp our motif of religious life on others. We are not called to
arrogantly presume to know what is best for others. We are called to listen, to pray, to intercede, to be respectful…and
then to speak. As James writes, the wisdom from above is first peaceable –
those who think they must shout and clothe their words with super-spiritual
code words and jargon don’t understand the spirit of the Lamb and the One who
will not break a bruised reed or quench a smoking flax.
“Other persons have their own
secrets that may not be violated without the infliction of great harm. Nor can
they divulge them without destroying themselves” (pages 81-82). There are times
when we need to explicitly confide and confess to another in an appropriate and
wise fashion; and such times can bring closure, relief, release, and
forgiveness. But we are not dentists looking to pull the teeth of others and we
ought not to coax, force, or manipulate others to tell us things which perhaps
they ought not to share, or are not ready to share. We ought to seek the
healing and health and welfare of others; others are not here to make us look
spiritual or wise, they are not here to entertain us with stories of their
struggles – we ought not to use the world and its model of continual
self-disclosure in our relationships with one another. There are likely things
in all of our lives, things in our past (if we have lived long enough) that we
must speak to God alone about…and if it should be otherwise then we can trust
Him to reveal it to us.
Yes, we are to live
transparently in our life together,
and part of that transparency is that I don’t pretend to be someone I am not,
it is acknowledging that outside of Christ I am capable of extreme wickedness,
it is acknowledging that I have things in my past which I deeply regret and for
which I have sought God’s forgiveness (and the forgiveness of others as
appropriate). It is also respecting my brothers and sisters who make such a
confession, and respecting whatever “secrets” they may have – loving them where
they are and how they are as we walk this pilgrimage together. Then hopefully
they will speak the Word of Christ to me, and hopefully I will love them enough
to speak the Word of Christ to them. There is a tension, but it is a healthy
and holy tension, a tension of the sacred, a tension of caring for friendships,
a tension maintained in the humility of sensing and knowing that we have
invited one another to share life
together in Jesus Christ.
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