“Darkness had fallen, and Jesus had not yet come to them”
(John 6:17b).
O yes, O yes, I
remember that night. I was thinking about it when I was on the Isle of Patmos
receiving the revelation of Jesus Christ. Considering all the darkness I
witnessed in the Revelation, up close and personal, it was, I suppose,
inevitable that I’d think about that night on the Sea of Galilee.
It was after
Jesus had fed the multitude and withdrawn to the mountain by Himself. As
evening came, leaving Jesus behind we got into a boat to sail to Capernaum. Sailing
at night was normal for us fishermen, I’m not sure how the others felt about
it, but Peter, James, Andrew, and I had fished many a night in our business –
some nights the catch was great, other nights meagre.
You may have
noticed that I wrote, “Darkness had fallen, and Jesus had not yet come to
them.” You see, we expected Jesus to show up – He had that way about Him; He has
that way about Him. O my, how He showed up on Patmos…He showed up in a way I
never expected, in a way I wasn’t looking for. But then, isn’t that the way He
is?
Anyway, the
thing is that the sea became agitated, the wind was blowing, we couldn’t use
the sail and so we rowed, and it was hard going to put muscle to oar. The waves
were rising and falling and tossing the boat, and the brothers that weren’t
fishermen were wishing they’d stayed behind. We were asking one another, “Where
is Jesus? Where is Jesus when we need Him? Why did He send us by ourselves? Why
couldn’t we have waited for Him?”
That’s another
thing about Jesus. Sometimes He says, “Wait for Me.” Other times He says, “Go
on ahead.” That’s crazy isn’t it? After all this time I still don’t understand
it, I still don’t understand Him. O there is a lot I know, but it doesn’t seem
there is a lot I understand.
I know He loves you
and me. I know He never leaves us or forsakes us. I know He is our Good
Shepherd. I know His mercy and grace are without measure. I know His peace
passes my comprehension. I know His perfect love casts out all fear.
I know all of
these things, but I sure don’t understand them. I know Him, O how I know Him,
but I can’t say I understand Him.
Well, darkness
had fallen and the sea was throwing us up and down and there were times we
thought our boat might capsize. Then we saw Him, walking on the tempestuous
water – and we were scared, just plain frightened.
Now go figure,
if you can. On the one hand we are asking each other, “Where is Jesus?” Then
when we see Him we are frightened. What sense does that make? I don’t know if
we were more afraid of the storm or of Jesus. I’m shaking my head as I write
this.
Storms can be
disorienting. Storms in darkness can be especially disorienting and cause you
to lose your equilibrium.
Notice that
Jesus was “drawing near to the boat.” Do you think that lessened our fear of
Him? No indeed! The closer He came the more we trembled!
Yes, as I was
experiencing His revelation on Patmos, I truly was thinking about that night on
the Sea of Galilee when darkness fell and Jesus had not yet come. I was indeed
thinking of the churning of the sea, the howling of the wind, the boat being
tossed about like a child’s toy. I saw much darkness on Patmos, I saw churning
waters and felt howling winds, and the thunder, the thunder and lightning in
Revelation was deafening and blinding – Revelation was, at times, like being in
an amphitheater filled with kettle drums whose vibrations shake your very soul.
On Patmos, when
I first saw and heard Him “I fell at His feet like a dead man” (Rev. 1:17).
Then what did
Jesus do? Why He touched and said, “Do not be afraid.”
That also
reminds me of that night on the sea, for He said, “It is I; do not be afraid.”
Isn’t He always
saying that to us? “It is I; do not be afraid”?
When darkness
falls but Jesus has not yet come, when the storms howl about us and toss our boats,
filling them with water, stretching their seams; when we see images on the
ocean that we do not understand, when those around us are panicking, when we
wonder what in the world we are doing and how in the world we got where we
are…we can be sure that Jesus is coming to us, we can be sure that through the
gale force winds and the uncertainty of every moment, when our hearts want to
leap out of our chests and we are chasing our breath – we can be sure, we can
be certain, we can be confident that Jesus is speaking to us, that Jesus is
saying, “It is I; do not be afraid.”