Clark Coughlin

This morning I learned that my friend and mentor Clark Coughlin went to be with Jesus - this is a loss for me, one that I deeply feel. I first met Clark about 18 years ago when we lived in Becket, MA. Clark and his wife, Joy, lived in CT, and I was introduced to Clark through a mentoring program supported by Vision New England. While we lived in Becket I usually drove down to Winsted, CT once a month to have breakfast with Clark - we’d spend a couple of hours together as Clark listened to me, asked questions, and carefully shared insights and things for me to ponder. We always concluded with a time of prayer.

After we moved back to VA Clark and I continued our friendship with phone calls every month or two; the pattern was very much the same - his listening, asking questions, sharing insights, and of course prayer. During the last few years I was able to play the role of encourager as Clark faced medical issues and as his strength steadily deteriorated; I felt honored to be able to encourage a man who had been so faithful to me and other pastors.

When I met Clark he had retired from the priesthood (Episcopal) and embarked on a ministry of mentoring pastors in New England. He was thoughtful, funny, and quite the showman, playing the banjo and ukulele with groups, and participating in cabaret shows in their retirement community. I don’t know how the other pastors he mentored felt, but I suspect their feelings were similar to mine; I could be transparent with Clark, I could trust him, and he was worthy of my deep affection, love, and respect.

While Clark was 16 years older than me, in maturity, thoughtfulness, and reflection he was much older. I am a little older now than he was when I met him, but there is no comparison in terms of maturity, he had qualities that I can only hope that I’ll emulate someday - patience, forbearance, longsuffering, charity. Sometimes I wish that he had been more direct with me because I wasn’t smart enough to always understand what he was saying - I’d like to be able to tell him that I am finally “getting” some of what he shared with me. I also feel like I let him down a time or two, but I don’t want to unpack that right now - I know I must have disappointed him one time in particular, I was really an ass about something that he sent my way and I didn’t honor him the way I should have - he was more than charitable about it.

The last time I saw Clark and Joy was around 2008 during a trip to Gordon-Conwell. I stopped and spent the night with them on my way to the Boston area.

Well, I’ve lost two men lately who greatly influenced my life, George Will (who I’ve written about from time to time on my blog Kaleidoscope), and now Clark. George was an influence in my younger years, and Clark during the present season of life. Clark was with me during highs and lows, always encouraging, always thoughtful, always steady. I miss him already; but I’ll continue to learn from him as I reflect on his life, our our times together, on our many conversations, on our times of prayer. Clark was a friend - in every sense of the word. A mentor, in the best sense of the word. And a priest, a true priest - that’s a lot for me to be thankful for.

Coughlin, Reverend Clark F.
The Reverend Clark F. Coughlin, 84, passed away peacefully on Wednesday, November 8, 2017 in Bloomfield. He was born in Holyoke, MA, to Patrick and Edna (Wilkinson) Coughlin. He received his Bachelor of Science at Quinnipiac University; Master of Divinity at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and Episcopal Divinity School in Boston. Some of his hobbies included playing the banjo and ukulele, Barbershop singing, golf and duplicate bridge. He started his career as an Industrial Engineer and in 1980 he was ordained an Episcopal Priest. He served as the Assistant Rector at Christ Church, Watertown, CT from 1980-1983, and then from 1983-2001 was the Rector at St. James Episcopal Church, Winsted, CT. Father Coughlin made it possible for the Open Door Soup Kitchen to open at St. James Church, and it is still in operation today.