The Already and the Not Yet

Yesterday our Lord convicted me of selfishness to a degree that prostrated my soul. My selfishness? I was at a function in which a conversation took a turn for the worse and I was not redemptively intentional in questioning what was being said – that is selfishness; I wasn’t there for my own enjoyment, I was there for Christ – yet, was I the redemptive presence of Christ? No. No excuses. It was a long drive home as the Holy Spirit replayed the video in my mind with His gentle (yet straightforward) conviction – the scalpel cuts deeper than the hammer.

Here are a couple of passages from the Valley of Vision, the Puritan prayer book I mention from time-to-time:

Thy loving Spirit strives within me, brings me Scripture warnings, speaks in startling providences, allures by secret whispers, yet I choose devices and desires to my own hurt…(page 125)

The Cross still stands and meets my needs in the deepest straits of the soul. I thank thee that my remembrance of it is like David’s sight of Goliath’s sword which preached forth thy deliverance…There is no treasure so wonderful as that continuous experience of thy grace toward me which alone can subdue the risings of sin within: give me more of it. (page 127).

Ah, living in the Already – Not Yet. On the one hand I am radical about us being complete in Christ – Colossians 2:10; Hebrews 10:10. On the other hand I am radical that outside of Christ I am a cesspool. As a pastor most of my parishioners have had no idea how secure they are in Christ, no idea of their identity in Him – and with most people in Christ my opinion is that until they know security they can’t well know the depths of sin – for when we are shown the depths of sin without knowing our security in Christ it can well be interpreted as God’s rejection, when in fact it is God’s love and mercy when He shows us who we are without Him, and when He shows us things that need to be dealt with by His Word and Spirit.

When we know that we are secure we can freely lay our lives down for others; when we know the depths of our sin we can know full dependence on Christ and we can remind ourselves that we ought not to compare ourselves with others; in Christ we can be ourselves and we can forget about ourselves.

I am praying that God will redeem my selfishness by allowing me to have some individual conversations with the people I was with yesterday. Would you please pray for that?